Being Comfortable

Liebe Lucy,


Over the last few months this blog has sort of become my way or portraying to my future self how fantastic 2015 (so far) has been for me and how incredible my friends are. In a few short days I will be moving 2.5 hours away where I know one person in the whole city. Tonight, after meeting up with the people I love most in the world (minus those who have already left for uni), I'm left trying to convince myself that sometimes things scare us and we just have to do them anyway.

The prospect of university is terrifying to me. I'm not a massive drinker and find the whole 'fresher' culture extremely intimidating, not to mention the moving away where I don't know anyone and living with people I've never met. While I hope more than anything that I look back on this post and think 'I can't believe I didn't even know ____ then', it is still absolutely terrifying and there is absolutely a chance that I will hate it. But that's something I have to find out and the only way to do that is by trying.

I have become extremely comfortable in my school friendship group. I would not hesitate to go to any one of them if I needed them for anything. They are home. And while home is the most comfortable place there is, sooner or later you have to leave but that doesn't mean you don't return home. While talking about a 'family' Christmas meal and what we're going to do for New Year feels incredibly premature (what with it being September and everything) it comforts me to know that those I'm most comfortable with feel the same and have a similar sense of wanting to cling to what we currently have.

It won't be the same when we get home for Christmas. That much I'm sure of. We will all have grown and changed, even if only slightly. It would be naive to think we will never change but just because we change, the group doesn't have to. And while I do worry on the surface that they will all make new, better friends and completely forget about me, I know deep down that even if they do find new friends and even if those friends are better than me, they can never have new school friends, and that is what I will cling to.

To those of you who will forever be my school friends, thank you, for being home.

Lucy x